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"one hand opens in grief, the other in gratitude
pressing them together to pray” ~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer Unitarian Universalism is pluralistic faith and a living tradition. At UUCO, this means we offer a spiritual community that holds sacred and secular space for believers and non-believers of all sorts. Prayer seems like a fraught endeavor for many and often we might disagree on the “how” and “why” of it. To whom or what do we pray as Unitarian Universalists? The answer, of course is, “It’s complicated.” Personally, I’m a big fan of prayer- whether it’s an utterance or shout of words, a dance of the spirit, a stroll through nature, a song chanted on repeat, or the focused meditative practice of voicing mantra. I pray in color-doodling on paper words or symbols to put my thoughts out into the universe. My friend Stephen says that spell work is prayer with props. I think ritual is a kind of prayer. My definition of prayer as a UU is wide open and I like that. While I love to pray and think it’s generally a good practice, I’ve also seen prayer weaponized or used as an excuse to avoid personal responsibility. “Thoughts and prayers” have been mumbled to bypass or minimize tragedy by those with power who choose to offer empty words but no action. Effective prayer is a focusing practice to help one make sense of a situation or give hope when no sense can be made. Some prayers should activate us and help us work towards our highest good. Other prayers can be offered in grief when you don’t know what else to do and sometimes that’s all you can do- just pray. And holy smokes! Sometimes prayer is simply a moment to express gratitude. In just thirteen words, poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer expresses the complexity of life and how prayer is a practice that reminds us that we contain multitudes. Grief and gratitude, being open to receiving all that life offers, then bringing it all close to our hearts. This November, this is much to grieve: The loss of democracy, the erosion of kindness, the despair felt when lacking resources for people to be able to feed and shelter their families because a livable wage is not a right in this country. This November, there is also much to be grateful for: friendship, chosen family, and practices of mutual aid-folks who extend acts of compassion because to ignore suffering is unfathomable. I’m also so grateful for this beloved community that gathers in hope. And I’m grateful for Love that will not let us go. Bringing my hands together in prayer, I am mindful of Rev. Dr. Rebecca Parker’s words: There is a love holding me. There is a love holding you. There is a love holding all. I rest in this love. Blessings to you all, Rev. Sarah
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Ah October, my favorite month of the year, when the weather starts to be a little cooler, a little darker. It’s time for pumpkin picking, hayrides, bonfires and lattes. Schools are ready for fall breaks and harvest celebrations, with witches riding and monsters mashing towards Halloween. After several years of serving congregational life, with the end of summer being intensely busy, I recognize that October is a month that I must push the “slow down” button. October, while peppered with so many opportunities for community engagement, is really the lull in the impending seasonal storm before us that makes up winter gatherings, obligations, elections, and more.
I generally thrive on chaos, intensity, and rapid pacing but this isn’t sustainable long-term. Add to this the constant 24-hour demands that many of us face living in a tech savvy world, along with a barrage of doom in our media and the urgency to fix it and fix it quickly, we risk burning out. We can’t really live into our values of Unitarian Universalism, or be people who center love if we don’t, at least occasionally, slow down to remind ourselves about what matters most and why we do what we do. We serve no one well if we are burnt toast. Maybe it’s a luxury or a privilege for me to say, “slow down” or “hit the pause button.” Maybe you feel like you can’t jump out of the hamster wheel, maybe you feel like your job or family depends upon you operating at a break neck speed. Capitalism makes you believe this is true. But what if you took ten minutes to step outside to breathe in the fresh air or slowly sip a cup of water? What would happen if you reached out to your colleague to say, “Hey, I could use some help?” What if you walked just a little slower to your car to notice the sounds around you? What if you took the time to look in the eyes and smile to each person you encountered in a day rather than avoiding their gaze and rushing off? Could we make time for slowing down? I believe life is a “both and” scenario. We live in a time of great urgency, a time to experience life to its fullest, and we must sustain a pace that is gentle and loving to ourselves and others so that we can be part of a peaceful world in which we strive to create. If we want a peaceful, loving world, we must be peaceful loving people. And there’s no rushing the process as much as I wish I could. Dominique Browning writes, “Slow living, I have come to understand, opens up the prospect of slow love, the most sustaining sort of love I have ever known - a love that comes of an unhurried and focused attention to the simplest things, available to all of us, at any time, should we choose to engage: family, friendship, food, music, art, books, our bodies, our minds, our souls, and the life that blooms and buzzes all around us… Perhaps even more importantly, slow love comes out of the quiet hours, out of learning from the silence that is always there when we want it.” So, my fervent wish for you this month is to slow down, engage in slow living, slow love. Fill your cups and be gentle with yourselves, beloveds, because you matter, you are worthy, and we are all powerful enough to change the world, one breath at a time. With love at the center, Rev. Sarah Co-Founder of Sacred Design Lab, Casper ter Kuile writes, “Membership is down across unions, congregations, and voluntary organizations. It seems we’re increasingly looking for belonging without membership… In a culture where authenticity is king, melting into membership feels like an attack on individual personhood. The threat of commitment to the “freedom” of choice seems like a limitation. And mutuality isn’t seen as a safety net, but a stone that might sink us both… I’d wager that this is why ephemeral connective experiences are so popular: think retreats, festivals, and conventions. We look for meaningful connections amidst the safety of temporality.”
The safety of temporality. In this fraught world, people are not feeling safe. Aligning with a community feels scary, it requires vulnerability and trust. It seems hard for many of us to commit to commitments because the ground upon which we stand is so incredibly shaky. How can we make promises to be part of something long-term when faced with an undisclosed and frighteningly uncertain future? Research has revealed just how dangerous isolation and loneliness are and we hear how much people long for community or a sense of belonging. It’s in our DNA to be interconnected, our survival is dependent upon the tribe. But an imperialist, capitalist, transactional story was sold to us all for decades. Pulling ourselves up from our bootstraps, keeping up with the Joneses, measuring our success in life by how much stuff you have or how much joy you can muster from not having to feel anything unpleasant. That’s a pretty lonely story. And none of that really matters. As the social economic experiment of America goes limping along, we need to decide if it’s worth it to continue being afraid of commitments and the work of community or if going it alone is just easier and less hassle. The short-term connective experiences that ter Kuile writes about are a tease, a trailer of what could be. I must admit, one of my favorite things to do when I’m having a bad day is go to one of my streaming apps on the TV and watch trailers. I don’t actually want to commit to watching a whole movie-I can get the highlights of the program in a quick 2-minute reel. What could I possibly be missing out on? I also love retreats! There is an intensity there-a quickening of the best possibility of community with none of the risk or long-term responsibility. It’s concierge service for the soul. And yet, what happens when we return to our mundane lives? What happens when the trials of life happen for you or for me or for other people we know? What mechanism is in place to support you? How can your spirit be fed regularly but also, how can you feed others’ spirits too? I think we’re all longing for connection-real connection and mutuality. These kinds of connections can happen when we make a commitment to belonging to a group, a circle, or a congregation. I know it’s scary to make that commitment and it might stretch us out of our comfort zones emotionally, physically, and financially. It is also hard to know what each person needs out of that commitment of community. So we must have lots of conversations, we have to ask one another, “What do you need to feel a sense of belonging?” We need to listen to the response. And then, we need to collaborate to make the community be what it has the potential to be. I believe it is worth the risk, it’s worth the heartache to be part of an “us” and not just a “me.” So, as your minister, I’m asking you, “What do you need to feel a sense of belonging with the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Oxford? How can I help you navigate the joys and sorrow of community to find your way to saying “yes” to a lasting commitment to this congregation? I’m listening. And are you willing to ask the same of others? For the good of the community, for the good of us all. With love at the center, Rev. Sarah It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings. ~ Wendell Berry It may seem that our democracy is unraveling around us, progress made is being picked apart, and kindness is beyond frayed. You may feel like the character in Wendell Berry’s poem-not knowing what to do, when faced with a society that seems to be combusting from within. You are not alone, my friend. There is a time to grieve the circumstances our country currently faces -families being torn apart and folks being rounded up and sent to inhumane places, jobs lost, health care and other life- saving programs being casually tossed aside, basic human rights and dignity being disregarded. This is not the behavior or actions of a healthy democracy. Did those of us who identify as progressive or liberal get too complacent in thinking this couldn’t happen? Did we assume that progress would always be a linear and upward trajectory? It’s mind-boggling and shocking to my poor senses, really, that these things could happen in America. But as Berry reminds us, “we have come to our real journey.” We, who choose to be Unitarian Universalist must walk our talk. We must wrestle with our faith and what living our values really means in the context of this metaphorical dumpster fire. As the Enneagram 7 and Myers-Brigg ENFP that I am, ya’ll know I’m a cheerleader at heart, looking on the bright side when things get tough. So, if you’re feeling low, let me remind you that we can face this-we can join the real journey and do it together. It’s risky, it will take all of us, and some of us might need a break-that’s ok too. The journey before us asks us not to lose sight of our kindness and love, it will mean approaching these days with vulnerability. Berry’s poem about the real journey reminds me of The Fool’s journey in the Tarot. One of the most important and potential-revealing cards is called The Tower. A seemingly ominous image of a tower on fire with devastation on the ground, the Tower reminds us that sometimes things need to be shaken up, old systems must give way to new, the farmers burn the fields to make the soil rich again. The Tower reminds me that our faith is always evolving, and this can be true for our country. I’m not suggesting the hate and harm that people are experiencing is good-but rather this is the time for us to be bold, to speak truth to power, to model kindness (not niceness), to embody love in our interactions, and to forge a better way. “The impeded stream is the one that sings.” Yes! You know, the Tarot card that comes after the challenging Tower is called The Star. The card features a naked feminine body under the night sky, the person is kneeling by a stream, one foot in the water and one foot on land. They are pouring water into the stream and the nearby ground from two jugs they are holding. The metaphor and lesson of The Star tells us what comes next on the journey: vulnerability, wisdom, generosity and abundance. If we look at Berry’s impeded stream as the one that sings, coupled with wisdom of The Star, I believe there’s a challenge and hopeful invitation to all-that when we come to the point of not knowing what or where to go, we begin by remembering our humanity, free from ego, and we face the day with love at the center. What are you being called to do? How will you let service be your prayer? And if you don’t know the answer, that’s ok. Join us at UUCO-because we will figure it out together. With love, Rev. Sarah In his poem, A Brief for the Defense, Jack Gilbert writes: “We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of this world. To make injustice the only measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.”
Now, as a good Unitarian Universalist, I don’t believe in the Devil, but I do believe joy is resistance! Finding delight and I dare say pleasure, is how we meet this moment we find ourselves in, when the world is seemingly on fire. I’m not suggesting that we stick our noses in the ground or strum our violins while the ship is sinking. Nay, I say we must find laughter, beauty, love and freedom by resisting tyrants and systems of oppression that seek to make us miserable and compliant. Joy is a spiritual practice that we can cultivate for ourselves and for each other. When the world is so incredible hard, our congregation provides a balm for weary souls. I like to think that we come to UUCO to help us make sense of our lives, to comfort those who need it and to stir up those who have become too complacent. What does it mean to be a justice minded congregation? Do we serve others because it makes us feel good? Or do we serve others to transform ourselves and our world? Maybe the answer is “both.” And, if transformation and healing is our goal, how do we do this in a way that makes the most positive, joyful, impact? I believe it is essential for us as Unitarian Universalists to always have a beginner’s mind when it comes to our ever-changing world. This means we must always be curious and willing to learn. I think this is another reason we come to UUCO, to challenge our hearts and minds to consider ideas that may be new to us. Religious exploration isn’t just for kids. Theologian James Luther Adams reminds us that revelation isn’t sealed, it's open and continuous. Therefore, when we think of joy as an act of resistance and spiritual practice, how might we learn to cultivate this within and share it with others? Joy is exhilarating; when we model it, others are drawn to it. Learning brings me great joy. My favorite quote from our Unitarian ancestor, Rev. William Ellery Channing sums up my philosophy around religious exploration: “the great end is to awaken the soul… to excite and cherish spiritual life." Let us be a learning community, filled with joy and curiosity. Let us face a fragile and hurting world with bravery by offering people hope and knowledge. We can demonstrate a heart-nurturing way to live, one that celebrates collaboration and freedom and honors the full breadth of the human experience. As we seek joy and justice and aim to let service be our prayer, let us begin within. There are some exciting opportunities on the horizon for cultivating joy and justice at UUCO. We will be facilitating a series of Adult Our Whole Lives sessions this fall on the 4 th Sunday, August-November in the afternoon. All adults are welcome to any and all sessions. More details to follow about this exciting program which explores values, communication, healthy relationships while affirming diversity and acceptance of sexual identity. With great joy and love, Rev. Sarah Written by cantor Linda Hirschhorn, “Circle ‘Round for Peace” is a hauntingly beautiful hymn found in
our grey hymnal #155. According to my favorite source for all things UU music, Rev. Kimberley Debus has this to say about it on her website Far Fringe, “This is a great piece-best sung a capella, with three strong song leaders to help fill in the rich harmony.” My absolute favorite recording of this piece comes from my friend and colleague, Dr. Glen Thomas Rideout, which you can find on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1FUz0b3e-E Dr. Rideout’s angelic voice is mesmerizing and soothing. When I am troubled or stressed about the state of our country, I listen to this recording to ground and center myself. And I admit, I like to sing along in harmony with Dr. Rideout. Let’s take a look at the lyrics so you can see why I find this hymn so meaningful: Circle ‘round for freedom, circle ‘round for peace, For all of us imprisoned, circle for release, Circle for the planet, circle for each soul, For the children of our children, keep the circle whole. The call of our Unitarian Universalist faith is summed up in this short ditty and it explains why we come together. Having a faith home is important because it’s where we learn together to get free, where we wrestle with the complexity of humanity so that we can make sense of our lives. We come together to work for peace-our ability to create justice works most effectively when we all blend our voices for a common purpose and mission. We circle round to remember our interdependence and our inherent dignity. And we come together to figure out ways to heal ourselves, each other, and the planet-because we must leave a better place for future generations. Unitarian Universalism is no easy faith. We have no dogma, no creed, no fear motivating us. We aspire to center love in all we do, we believe in each other, and what holds us together is our commitments to being in right relationship as we seek to improve our lives and discover liberation. And yet, because we are human, we fail at this often and sometimes spectacularly. I think circling back to this hymn and singing it for ourselves and for each other helps us get back on track. It seems simple, but sometimes you need to hit the pause button occasionally to remember whose you are. If we are to stay in the long haul for liberation, we must find time for beauty and appreciation and generosity. A circle is no hierarchy, a circle doesn’t fight for power or rightness. A circle is interdependent, a circle makes space for everyone, a circle is collaborative and healing. A circle flows on and on… I want to teach our children that we are stronger together and that we can right wrongs when we come together. Change and progress are sometimes slow, but if we keep widening the circle, we eventually find peace for everyone. That’s my prayer for us all. Keep the circle whole, my friends. This June, I will be at the Unitarian Universalist Association’s General Assembly in Baltimore, where I will be participating in professional development at Ministry Days, offering support to our UU professional organizations- LREDA, AUUM, AUUMP, and AUUMM- as a trainer for the Good Offices program, engaging in workshops and worship, and circling ‘round with hundreds of UUs. The remainder of the month, I’ll be on study leave and vacation. While I’m gone, keep on singing. “For the children of our children, keep the circle whole.” With love at the center, Rev. Sarah In a Unitarian Universalist context, a communion is an experience of fellowship and rapport with an exchange of thoughts and feelings on a spiritual level. Two of our more important UU communions are the Water Communion-to usher in the autumnal beginning of our program year and the Flower Communion, to welcoming the spring and wrap up the bouquet of the program year. In between and beyond these days, we might celebrate a bevy of other communions. These important rituals help us to connect with one another and help us to make sense of the world. Coming together in this way is particularly poignant right now in the political landscape where fear and insecurity are a constant source of stress, grief, and anxiety in many of our psyches. We come to UUCO to help us alleviate these societal pressures, to encourage all to confront the ills of the days, and to collectively aim our energies towards justice and transformation. On Sundays, rituals and other elements of worship help us remember what is important, help us connect with one another, and help us to experience the holy- the Love that is beyond ourselves, all with the intention of generating renewal, hope, and good trouble. This month, we have two communions back-to-back at UUCO. Our annual Flower Communion will be led by Greg Johnson on May 4 th where you’ll be invited to bring a flower to give and then receive a new-to-you flower in return. The following week, May 11, we will hold a Dirt Communion and Milestones & Mother’s Day Celebration led by our youth in collaboration with RE coordinator Wendy Pfrenger and myself. You are invited to bring a small amount of soil from your property which will then be mingled in a communal pot used for planting on the UUCO property. We hope to hold this service outside (weather permitting) with lots of music and drumming and singing. We will also be honoring milestone moments in this service and have a word of gratitude for those that mother us. Be sure to bring some dirt, a drum or noisemaker, and if you prefer a comfy spot, bring a camp (lawn) chair. May 11 is also a potluck so we will be having a grand gathering this day. I find great meaning in these interactive and imaginative services. In Unitarian Universalism, we believe that each person has wisdom and gifts to share with each other, the community, and the world. These simple exchanges in the congregation help us to practice being in right relationship and uplift our commitment to interdependence- what affects one, affects all. Our communions are a celebration of beloved covenantal community, and I am grateful that we make space for such expressions of the spirit and of wonder. “We are each an artist”, said the poet, priest, and philosopher John O’Donohue, “We each possess an imagination. Everyone, whether they like it or not, is involved in the construction of the world.” At UUCO, our communions are an opportunity to imagine the kind of community we wish to create: one that centers love. In faith, Rev. Sarah In “The Practice of Joy,” Dr. Michael McGee writes, “How do we access the joy of life? How do we realize joy in the midst of what often seems mundane or difficult? The answer is that we realize joy through intentional practices, starting with the intentional practice of humble, grateful reverence for this precious moment of existence.” Taking time to enjoy musicals and old cinema helps me to access joy, which is our Soul Matter’s theme for April. In a world that is so heavy right now, it takes mindfulness on my part, much like my commitment to rest, to cultivate joy. Someone recently told me that a friend of theirs proclaimed that every movie ought to be a musical. The friend was from India where Bollywood musicals are immensely popular. This notion brought a smile to my face-and I agree! I think the world would be a better place if we sang about life. Can you imagine, a heartfelt moment in a flick where the starring actors break out into song to express how they feel? Wouldn’t it be grand if we could sing about the ongoings of our days? My son is taking a film class in college, so we’ve been watching a bunch of old musicals. There’s magic and joy in these productions. Live theatre also brings me joy-particularly musicals-the grander the spectacle, the better. For my birthday this month, I’m going to see “Some Like It Hot” at the Orpheum. This musical is based upon the old 1959 Marilynn Monroe, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon film which tells the story of two male musicians escaping from the mob by dressing up as women to join an all-women orchestra band on their way to a gig out of town. Of course, shenanigans and romance and singing happens along the way. I was in college the first time I watched this along with my grandmother. We giggled so much watching this-it’s one of those joyful memories I’ll forever cherish. And I rewatched this movie just a few weeks ago with my son as we both discussed how the plot was surprisingly progressive for its time-exploring feminist and queer themes. I’m eager to see how the live musical compares. Do you have a favorite musical or movie that brings you joy? Experiencing joy helps us get through the hard times of life. I dare say it’s essential for living life, as it helps us practice to be more human. McGee reminds us, “Joy is our true nature. You need only watch children playing in the park to see our joyful essence expressed.” I believe this is part of the wisdom of childhood and one of the reasons that I think having children centered in our congregations is so important because they remind adults what matters most. If you find yourself struggling to experience a moment of joy, just listen to a child, volunteer in the Religious Exploration program, engage in some conversations with a youth. And then, take a turn practicing wonder, gratitude, stillness, and reverence. May you find your way to joy. With love at the center always, Rev. Sarah Save the date for a special kid designed and led service on May 11 that will celebrate imagination and take place outside with a dirt communion, drum circle, lots of music and singing and planting! |
Reverend Sarah OsbornePart-time minister at UUCO Archives
November 2025
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